Learning to let go of control, embrace acceptance, and find a little more peace in everyday life.
I’m reading ‘Already Free: Buddhism Meets Psychotherapy on the Path of Liberation’ by Bruce Tift and came across a quote that really hit me:
‘The core struggle for most of us is that we want things to be different than they are.’
And it’s so true. We want the weather to be different, we want our partner to change, we want more money, a different career, our children to behave differently. We get upset when random strangers don’t meet our expectations — like when someone doesn’t follow the rules or cuts in line.
For me, strangers not following the rules is my Achilles heel. It sometimes throws me off and makes me angry. I know it’s because I rarely let myself bend or break the rules, and it’s frustrating to see others doing what I don’t allow myself to do. It’s something I’m working on, and while it’s getting easier, it’s still a journey.
It’s natural to feel this way — wanting control is human. We crave predictability and get uncomfortable when life doesn’t go according to plan. But sometimes, this desire for control only adds to our frustration, keeping us stuck rather than helping us move forward.
When I notice myself getting caught up in wanting things to be different, I try a small practice that helps: I pause and ask myself, ‘What am I resisting right now?’ Naming it doesn’t fix everything, but it gives me a moment to reflect and let go, even just a little.
The other day, I got stuck behind someone driving 20 km/h under the speed limit. My usual reaction would have been frustration, but instead, I took a deep breath and reminded myself, ‘Their speed isn’t mine to control.’ It didn’t change the situation, but it changed how I felt about it.
Wouldn’t life be so much more enjoyable if we could accept it as it is? What’s your thing — what do you wish could be different? Or, if you’ve found a way to let go of expectations, I’d love to hear what works for you!